Traveling Salesman Brutality Attacked

RIVERWOOD, SKYRIM—A young entrepreneur found out the hard way what happens when you harm chickens in the quaint settlement of Riverwood. Tarek Brown invented an enchanted pot capable of instantly cooking a delicious meal without the use of a fire. He claims his Instant Pot will revolutionize the way we prepare our food. “It’s really quite amazing, if I do say so myself. Anyway, I stumbled upon this little hamlet hoping to make a sale or two. Naturally, I wanted to demonstrate my creation by preparing a delicious meal. Carrots, potatoes, and spices were all thrown into the pot, but it lacked the main ingredient to bring it all together into a hearty meal. That’s when I spotted a chicken grazing in a nearby patch of grass.” The moment Tarek went for the chicken, all of the townsfolk pounced. A ferocious mob of men, women, and children brandishing all kinds of weapons descended upon the poor salesman. Battered, bruised, and near death, the traveler fled for his life. “From now on, I think I’ll stick to rabbits.”